First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
