Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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