do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
