he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize