i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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