shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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