it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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