That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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