I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
