The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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