I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
