It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
