i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
