"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
