no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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