yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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