Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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