I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
