who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
