I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
