I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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