Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
