No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
