hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
