just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sext me about skeletons
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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