TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
