then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
