YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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