he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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