i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
