are you still at the devil's house?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
