You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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