She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
