The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
