all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
