He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
