What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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