I accidentally had phone sex last night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
