you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
