I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize