when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
ttyl tear gas
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize