The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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