The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
