I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
