She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
