For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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