My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i think i just lost a toe
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
