try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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