You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
