it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
