either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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