I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You ruined the universe
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
