mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
