____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There was a lot of him and a little penis
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize