I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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