would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
