you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
