Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
