Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
