do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
