I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Boobs speak an international language.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
