I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
